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Parenting

What To Do If Your Child Is Hoarding

Updated
February 28, 2023
Table of Contents

    If your child with ADHD exhibits hoarding behaviors, you aren't alone. Some research suggests that there's a link between attention disorders like ADHD and hoarding. Still, the thought, "What if my child is a hoarder?" isn't an easy one to face.

    Hoarding can affect a person's life in serious ways, and it is imperative to address hoarding in children before they become adults and symptoms worsen. So, what can you do?

    In this article, we'll discuss hoarding in children, common reasons why children who hoard might do so, and signs of hoarding in kids. Then, we'll go over how to help your child stop hoarding and get help.

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    Hoarding Behavior In Children

    Sometimes, hoarding behavior has a clear association with a person's experiences. For example, kids who have faced trauma such as being removed from their homes or losing their belongings due to another cause (like a house fire) might hoard objects.

    If the objects are specific - for example, food items only - it could be associated with an eating disorder or food scarcity. In other cases, parents are at a loss and wonder why their child exhibits hoarding behavior. Know that there are many other families going through the same thing, and there's likely an underlying cause that can be addressed.

    Is Hoarding A Symptom of ADHD?

    Hoarding is not a symptom of ADHD. Even so, it is possible for ADHD symptoms to affect a person's life and mental health in ways that could make hoarding behaviors more likely. Let’s take a moment to explore possible root causes, and then, we’ll get to solutions.

    What Is The Root Cause Of Hoarding?

    In many cases, understanding why a child's hoarding is the first step to helping them overcome it. Consider the following potential causes of hoarding in children.

    Emotional attachment to objects

    Children who hoard may feel emotionally attached to material items that others do not. Kids may feel that hoarded objects have sentimental value, even if they do not. In turn, a child may have trouble letting go of items, thinking, "What if I'll need it?" or "I feel bad throwing it away."

    Hoarding disorder

    Hoarding disorder is in the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (DSM) under the category obsessive-compulsive and related disorders. To meet the criteria for hoarding disorder, a person must exhibit persistent trouble discarding or parting with items regardless of their actual value, alongside other symptoms, which must not be better explained by another disorder, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder.

    Other disorders

    An anxiety disorder, depression, ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or another disorder may impact a child's hoarding behavior. Research actually shows that there's a stronger link between ADHD and hoarding in children than there is between obsessive-compulsive disorder symptoms and hoarding behavior. Note that it is possible to live with more than one of these conditions, and a person could live with both hoarding disorder and ADHD or another set of co-occurring conditions.

    What Are The Signs Of Hoarding In Kids?

    In adults, hoarded items frequently lead to an unlivable home, making hoarding symptoms relatively easy to spot. Oftentimes, children go overlooked when it comes to hoarding behavior because they aren't able to accumulate items to this extent. It's not abnormal for a child to have a messy room, but how do you know if things are past that point? There are signs parents can look out for.

    Hoarding symptoms in kids can include but aren't limited to:

    • Unusual difficulty discarding possessions
    • Trouble parting with odd items with little to no actual value (e.g., broken toys, ticket stubs, or old school papers)
    • Displaying significant distress or anxiety when presented with the idea of letting go of hoarded objects (e.g., asking, "what if I'll need it someday?" even if it is very unlikely)
    • Substantial clutter in a child's room caused by hoarding tendencies

    Once you notice that your child shows signs of compulsive hoarding, it’s time to step in. That said, it is necessary to step in with great tenderness.

    Ways To Handle Hoarding

    When it comes to hoarding in children, early intervention is crucial. If parents and providers step in early on, they can help prevent children who hoard from the effects it can have on a person's life as an adult. Addressing a child's hoarding behavior should involve a combination of professional treatment and support from others in their life. Take these steps to navigate hoarding in children. Remember that the goal is regularity, not perfection. 

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    Ask your child about their hoarding

    Usually, children don’t understand why they hoard. Talking to your child can help you understand why it's happening and, in turn, address the problem. Approach the topic gently with your child. Ask curious, compassionate questions that help you gain a better understanding as to why they're hoarding things. You might ask a question like, "Oh, are these something you're keeping? What are you planning to do with them?" Maintain a gentle, conversational tone - the goal is to get information.

    Talk through thought patterns

    Once you get more information about why your child is hoarding, talk through the thought patterns associated with the behavior.

    "Here for now" thinking is one example of how a child's thoughts may lead to hoarding. It refers to when a person chooses to store or keep an object while thinking, "I'll put it here for now," even if they have no real plan to use it.

    Typically, this pairs with the thought, "What if I'll need it later?" So, even if a child has six empty disposable water bottles in their room, they might worry that they'll need to refill and use them and will, therefore, "keep them for now."

    Show empathy and understanding for that fear. Then, give reasoning for why it can be thrown away. With consistency, a child can learn to discard items and reduce or overcome their current patterns.

    Keep donation bins in the home

    Nearly every single one of us can say that we cycle through at least some items and have things to donate from time to time. Keep donation bins in your home and make it a regular practice to give old clothes and other unneeded items away.

    Avoid judgment or shame

    Avoid judgment, shame, and jokes when you talk to kids about hoarding. Word questions carefully. At times, it can be helpful to let kids know that many people have the same thoughts and fears when it comes to getting rid of things. Though they must discard items, you understand what they're telling you, and you will help them overcome the distress in time.

    Find treatment

    It is essential to involve the support of a professional, especially if concerns are persistent, cause distress, or are clearly beyond "collecting" behaviors, which differ from hoarding. A counselor, therapist, social worker, or psychologist can help kids work through hoarding behavior. They can also give parents guidance on how to talk with their child and navigate situations surrounding hoarded items at home. What does getting help for hoarding look like, though?

    Getting Help

    There are treatments that can help with hoarding in children. For one, you can try games like to-do apps. Oftentimes, it will include some form of talk therapy. Exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy is a common treatment used for hoarding disorder and other conditions. When used for hoarding behavior, ERP exposes a person to the process of letting go of items repeatedly until the fear is diminished. Therapists will teach skills throughout the process that'll help children let go of items and cope with emotions that arise. 

    If your child has a specific disorder that influences hoarding, whether that's ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or something else, looking for a mental health professional who specializes in your child's condition can help you find the right fit. Once you find a mental health professional, tell them about your child's hoarding symptoms and where you think it comes from.

    Takeaway

    While there's little public awareness of hoarding in children, it is not necessarily uncommon. Kids with ADHD, learning disorders, and some other conditions may be more prone to hoarding objects. Compulsive hoarding is also closely linked to trauma, though this does not play a role for all children who hoard. Parents can help their children overcome hoarding, and it is important that families seek professional help for the concern. Working with a mental health professional for therapies like exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy is often effective for those who experience hoarding behavior.

    About

    Dr. Carrie Jackson, PhD

    Carrie Jackson, Ph.D. is a licensed child psychologist, speaker, and author working in San Diego, California. She has published over 20 articles and book chapters related to parenting, ADHD, and defiance. Dr. Carrie Jackson received her Ph.D. in Psychology, with a specialization in Clinical Child Psychology, from West Virginia University in 2020. She completed her predoctoral internship at Rady Children’s Hospital through the University of California, San Diego. She then completed a postdoctoral fellowship at Nationwide Children’s Hospital before returning to San Diego, California to open her private practice.

    About

    Dr. Carrie Jackson, PhD

    Carrie Jackson, Ph.D. is a licensed child psychologist, speaker, and author working in San Diego, California. She has published over 20 articles and book chapters related to parenting, ADHD, and defiance. Dr. Carrie Jackson received her Ph.D. in Psychology, with a specialization in Clinical Child Psychology, from West Virginia University in 2020. She completed her predoctoral internship at Rady Children’s Hospital through the University of California, San Diego. She then completed a postdoctoral fellowship at Nationwide Children’s Hospital before returning to San Diego, California to open her private practice.